What are your favorite Onion headlines?
I'll post a few Onion favorites, but I really want to hear yours...so comment!
In no particular order:
- Gmail User Pities Hotmail User
- Gun Owner Ready for Them
- Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet
- Sixth Grader Begins Work On Pony Trilogy
- Kim Jong-Il Doesn't Know How He Keeps Winning Lottery
- Bush Calls Cabinet Meeting To Get Story Straight
- NASA Completely Forgot Probe Was Returning Today
- Foster Mom A Total Cunt
- Cocky Attempt To Operate ATM In Spanish Backfires
- Local Puppet Ignores Repeated Audience Dragon Warnings
- Let Us Freak. (By Smoove B)
- Fourth-Graders' Button-Making-Machine Privileges Suspended Indefinitely
posted by danielcoyne @ 12:54 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I can't think of any! Tell me you keep a list or something; there's no way you just remembered 10 headlines off the top of your head!
I have committed a disturbing amount of to Onion content to memory.
However, to assemble this list, I just broswed the archives or searched for vaguely remembered headlines. Go to www.theonion.com, look around, and post a few headlines that catch your eye!
In fact, the current 1996 flashback issue, celebrating 10-years of hilarity is ripe with good headlines:
Posters of Naked Women Fail to Draw Real Naked Women to Dorm Room
Christ Returns to NBA
Jamie Crying
Jews To Celebrate Rosh Hashasha Or Something
Area Cockroach Fucking Huge
Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan
God anwsers cancer patients prayers. Says no.
Chronic Insomnia for Onion. Onion for chronic insomnia.
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